Whod you bang
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
