I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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