I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
foreskin is a definite game changer
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
