You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
