hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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