i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
