What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
