You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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