what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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