Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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