You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
