So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
