i was rollin on her like bob the builder
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
