am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
