So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
