My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
