So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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