I can tuck mytits in my pants
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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