so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
