similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
