So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
