Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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