bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
