Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
