So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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