I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
