would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
