I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize