he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
