remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
