i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
