My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize