Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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