I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
