We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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