I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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