i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize