Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize