the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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