he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
