my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize