Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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