I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
