I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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