Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
