Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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