i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
