talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
