So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize