so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
