so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
