CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
