We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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