I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm getting married
To pizza
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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