Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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