let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Panties = found
Randomize
