I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I know her cup size but not her name....
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