names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize