guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
third nipple confirmed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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