Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
