I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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