I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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