Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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