My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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