you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
