His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
