Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
