Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
