i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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