What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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