HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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